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RESTORE

by Various Artists

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1.
Am i good enough Am i cool enough Does my music suck Or am i just A fucking (loser) Oh I've been defeated I guess it's over I know I just conceded Thrown in the towel I guess My life is over I'll never do it Again Until I'm sober And then I'll try to Pretend That I'm not drowning That I can still see the Light Inside the tunnel With the curtains drawn Tight In the aparment Where I can't pay the rent I'm all alone here I don't have to pretend Am i good enough Am i cool enough Does my music suck Or am i just A fucking Loser A fucking Loser Waking up and getting stoned Checking twitter on my phone Oh no Oh no There's gotta be something we can do They're burning the world down it's no use They're gonna kill us Oh they're gonna kill if it's the last thing that they do These rich old white guys don't give up They'll steal our profits till we're fucked Enough Enough The constant stream of death and pain Is getting harder to maintain I'll never get it Oh I'll just log out and try to occupy my brain Psychic damage In my head Psychic damage Instead I'll Try and flush away all my thoughts down the drain Ill try to Severe every single synapse in my brain cause this Psychic damage In my head Psychic damage Instead I'll Try my best to not let this shit ruin my day And try to Pretend that I don't let it eat me away Away away away away On and on the story goes It's just the same shit growing old So old So old Guess I'll crawl back in bed and Die Oh I want to Die Seeing the shit on the TV Burning a hole in my screen Can't help but think that I've seen this before Oh its the same psychic warfare bullshit that I see every day I guess I'll get a fucking job I guess I'll throw my life away I'll never make it work I guess it wouldn't matter anyway Cause I'm a fucking loser And i guess it's always been that way And even if I hate this place I guess it's where I have to stay I'm always getting let down Pushed around Nobody's there It's always So sad Too bad Nobody cares These fucking asshole Dirtbags Running the show Are gonna get theirs Fuck you Let's fucking go Psychic damage In my head Psychic damage Instead I'll Try and wash away all the crud in my mind I'll try to Forget all the damage and pretend to be fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine
2.
Do you ever feel like we just moved in together? And nothing feels yours? And everything is good?  And everything is good. What’s left to worry about? Will the laughing ever stop? And when she leaves for work and you lay down and you almost start to cry  cause it feels like the first time in years that something’s happened to you, 
 you realize 
 I don’t wanna die I don’t wanna die  I don’t wanna die on your porch tonight But I think I’m gonna
3.
would you write a song? one with me? It'd be cool and complex and we'd bond over chamomile tea but alas, you're not here, and it's clear i'll just stay inside with the flies i'll just rot and pretend everything's alright that it's cool that i'm chilling with my friends i'll think happy thoughts three times and i'll be fine stay in line go up high jump off the cliff and break my spine so i can't feel a fucking thing substitute me for something more concrete
4.
With the power of the sun I produce my kin before me Shining down upon the forest for my friends and foes to flourish My buds grow up with me through the stages of our lives But high above the clouds lies our worries and our strife I take back half of what I give without regret Nature is my arsenal the bigger they are the harder they fall With the power of the sun I produce my kin before me Shining down upon the forest for my friends and foes to flourish I take back half of what I give without regret Nature is my arsenal the bigger they are the harder they fall I will suck the life out of you I will poison your soul I am the king I am the king I am the king I am the king of this stand
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:( - Syntax 02:02
Step up a voice for sale buy stuff for me to say for art you'd sell your self for sale yeah your unforseen broken machine from what i've seen today when you're first play in the lie paid before they all see burn your voice1 across the sea for. what? sold! define i'm sane define i'm fine define the stakes whoooo you're unforseen broken machine for what? Wow you found your scene you fall away you're not in sync you're far away before your soul can burn away think twice yeah we'll find our sync we'll have our day we'll gain our stakes blank cheques delayed i'll still play? I've been paid? think not i wont say, what's been said before i wont break iiiiiiii can't buy my say, i'll have my say
7.
i'm fucking dust ripping new holes in my shirt just grab another one [incomprehensible]
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11.
a million futures aligned cast aside dreams born of hope overnight always die what good are all these things that i tried to talk through i don't feel like myself nor do i want to so do i run, again the numbers on giving up and it's begun, again i run, i run, and i run i walked a long road at night on one side no place to cross when it's time never mind and i let far too much go unsaid for years i didn't have it in me to shed more tears so now i run, again the numbers on giving up if i could feel, again there's something left to love that might be enough
12.
I don't know who I should be another year to be just me another year to follow through with all these things I want to do 52 weeks is not enough and I guess that's just tough luck can't control what other's do but at least I've pulled on through I know I really don't care but is that true and I still want more then what I can't reach and I don't want to stay but I don't think I should go and be right here but I think I'm better off alone and it's somewhere around here leave myself behind be the person I have always known then why can't I choose I don't really know who I'd rather wanna be is it better to be you or is it better to be me there's so many things that are just out of my reach I guess I'll figure it out making sure I've done enough and I think I've ha enough have you seen what I can do and I am ready to break through but are you sure this song is good I can't rewrite this, no redo and if it's not the best one yet then I'm sure the next one is I know I really don't care but is that true and I still want more then what I can't reach and I don't want to stay but I don't think I should go and be right here but I think I'm better off alone and it's somewhere around here leave myself behind be the person I have always known then why can't I choose I don't really know who I'd rather wanna be is it better to be you or is it better to be me there's so many things that are just out of my reach I guess I'll figure it out and if I don't know how do I get out there is it just another wall or an endless ocean I don't know how do i get out there and i don't think I can stay if i just keep swimming forward go and be right here but I think I'm better off alone and it's somewhere around here leave myself behind be the person I have always know
13.
Sun leaks in through my windowpane  But this heat doesn’t feel the same  Wind rattling through my ribcage  A vacant heart and an occupied gaze  Progress in unlearning  All the rules you used to know  Carved in trees and heavier than stone  But you’ll always be the same to me  And all the things we used to do  In another timeline when it was me and you  On your hardwood floor pulling the demons from our chests  Never knowing they could be all that’s left  Or that your fear can be your friend when you’re on your own  Cuz even when you’re by yourself you’ll never be alone  And there’s  And all that you’ve got  Are circular thoughts  Keeping me up  I wind up depending  On all these hopes inside my head  I wind up drowning deep in them  And you struggle and shout  Your lungs filled with doubt  I’m not gonna find my way out  I’m not gonna find my way out  On your fire escape steps squinting into a crowded sky  The constellations lit by satellites  And I tried to put it down in words  My thoughts are a small town  And you’re a universe
14.
15.
I'll find you a language you don't understand And whisper in words how I feel It's simply a matter of the things at hand Like nerves and the balance in my heels Redhead Dawn Over and over I will play it back Like reels upon reels of your ghost I know you're in love I know you're in love But if I lose control I'm stuck in the Trenches of your sympathy Redhead Dawn I wish that I could see you on a Saturday So Monday I'll be tripping off your scenet I wish that I could see you every day And celebrate the birth of my content Redhead Dawn You can look at me like you're ignorant And I can look at you like I'm loving it
16.
oh great blue sky, are you open to hearing all of the things that i would like to say but am not so sure about? point my camera up take a new picture. It seems the colors are never quite as vibrant as the way i saw them but I’ll do it again, when the the colors are just right, i’ll point my camera! The moment is never sure so Ill l try not to hold too tightly And these places will someday change even if you’re not there to see it I keep the window open at night because I like to hear sounds and As people drive on the highway I wonder just where are they going! so, put your glasses on, try to clean the frames and look!! a rainbow! i almost missed because I was annoyed at all the traffic and laughed when I saw it look to the sea, it’s 100 miles down and the fog rolls in and swallows the city below the mountains if you could fly close and touch the water you could see the specs of light transform into lines at this speed you’re going the sound of the rain could mean completely different things based on how you’re living The moment is never sure so I will try not to hold too tightly And these places will someday change so maybe I will save a picture I keep the window open at night because I like the sound of the forest I hear howls or maybe wails and I wonder just what are they doing the sound of the rain hitting hard against the roof, and together we keep talking as we get to where we’re going and I never get bored
17.
Needle in the arm, feeling fading from me. Better close my eyes, lest I pass out. Pink around the wrist, I’m free to go now. Leave through the front door, and I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m gonna do with my life. Drink some water, you didn’t lose a whole lot of blood back there, but a loss of blood’s still a loss of blood. So drink up, drink up, and so a toast, to all the things we’re leaving behind. To deadnames, addictions, and bodies that we hate, to cancers and blood clots and the risks that we take, to a new day, say hey, drink up while you can, because water is something we need to survive. Over and over the hormones they're taking over I’m afraid to admit it, but I guess I’ll admit that I don’t know where I’m going, or what I’m gonna do with my life. To hell with it all, I have broken the bindings around my wrists, and they fall. I am no longer stuck in this disgusting frame. My whole life I’ve been told to be who you are, but I haven’t been able to do that thus far, until somebody told me that I wasn’t all alone.
18.
I am my own hell And I have made my home In a place where no one ever goes I'll always be alone I'm learning all kinds of tricks How to drain the blood out of my face And spend a summer in bed So everyone will think i'm dead When I come back to you It'll be on my hands and knees I'd be lying if I said I didn't dream sometimes About what it would be like If I didn't have this life My legs start to shake When it's my time to leave
19.
20.
Are you gonna live your life wondering Standing in the back looking around? Are you gonna waste your time thinking How you've grown up Or how you missed out? Things are never gonna be the way you want Where's it gonna get you acting serious? Things are never gonna be quite what you want Even at twenty five you gotta start sometime I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go All I need is just to hear a song I know I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight Are you gonna to live your life Standing in the back looking around? Are you gonna waste your time? Gotta make a move or you'll miss out Someone's gonna to ask you what it's all about Stick around nostalgia won't let you down Someone's gonna to ask you what's it's all about What are you gonna have to say for yourself? I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go All I need is just to hear a song I know I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight Crimson and clover, over and over Crimson and clover, over and over Our house in the middle of the street (Crimson and clover, over and over) Why did we ever meet Start in my rock and roll fantasy (Crimson and clover, over and over) Don't don't, don't let's star (Crimson and clover, over and over) Why did we ever part (Crimson and clover, over and over) Kick start my rock and roll heart (Crimson and clover, over and over) I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go So come on Davey, sing me something that I know I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight (Here, tonight) I wanna fall in love tonight (Here, tonight) I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight I wanna fall in love tonight I wanna fall in love tonight
21.
I wake up at noon And put on yesterday’s pants Don’t give me the time or any respect Just a judgmental glance And when they call on me You know I might not show up And in the off chance that I do I’ll probably just throw up Sway and stumble Stumble and sway Mumble-y mumble What’s that you say? Drinking my courage ’til I think I can dance But if I checked the footage I’d know that I can’t What a waste of talent What a wasted talent yeah What a wasted talent yeah I think I might have missed my show But I don’t really care Because my main concern right now Is not falling down the stairs Sway and stumble Stumble and sway Mumble-y mumble What’s that you say? You think this is easy? Maybe I’m dedicated? The joke’s on you I’m heavily medicated Where’s the encore? It’s in the back of my van I sing it while choking and laying down ‘Cause I’m too wasted to stand What a waste of talent What a wasted talent yeah What a waste of talent What a wasted talent yeah
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26.
come summer days if i cry burn me up boil my skin i'll float by fill my back pocket with sand and die for dreams again babababababbababaabbabababba just before the sun comes up you glow why didn't you tell me so boy in the stars right before my eyes you fade away why didn't you tell me so boy in the stars run, tumble, trundle and fall though i will not remember it all hearts will bend, break and decay and time won't pass a day
27.
they spend their time taking pictures of roadkill cut 'em out and put 'em on their wall there and half the time they're living in a dream land deep in their cave, a shrine to what is gone and they're gone the camera lens captures images of violence on creatures made of skeletons and doll parts the picture pans to the host, and looks right in his eyes and it sends a shiver down their spine and it's time oh yeah, it's time take a little picture, keep it by your side hold onto it close when it's dark outside i feel you now, i feel you now the artist stands deep within a forest with lucy's eye still burning in their mind and when it's time to finish what they came here for something new will rise up in their stead like lucy said it's like lucy said oh yeah, it's like lucy said oh yeah, it's just like lucy said take a little picture, keep it close to you ask it when you don't know what you're supposed to do i feel you now i feel you now take a little picture, if only in your heart keep it to remind you of your better parts i feel you now, i feel you now
28.
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30.
i meant to say bye i meant to talk more last night i meant to tell you a long time ago but i didn't try,  freezing and full of fright cause i always fear the things i don't know and if i said anything more i'm pretty sure you'd figure, i feel for you    x3 or maybe you already do i'm bad at keeping it secret so fuck it i feel for you   x4 i meant to say bye i meant to talk more last night i meant to tell you a long time ago
31.
jesus shit all i want is to piss outside and yell for the hell of it but i'm too nervous to pretend i know where the front door is so maybe we can both move past our unpaid debts and get on with season 3 of yuru yuri and if you make it past the driveway i'll be waiting here alone for you till midnight or 3 years from now so fuck off family, friends, or lovers (fuck off family, friends, or lovers) i wouldn't have it any other way kill me baby i really hope that everyone hates me crush me slowly i wanna bleed on and on and on smash my head drag me down to hell and back again i wanna see what life is like without me i don't fucking wanna own a car and i don't fucking wanna work a job all i want is for everything to keep going on without me to bleed on and on (bleed on and on) bleed on and on (bleed on and on) bleed on and on and if you make it past the driveway i'll be waiting here alone for you till midnight or 3 years from now so fuck off family, friends, or lovers (fuck off family, friends, or lovers) i wouldn't have it any other way take your time i'll be taking mine falling out of touch falling out of line kill me baby i really hope that everyone hates me crush me slowly i wanna bleed on and on and on smash my head drag me down to hell and back again i wanna see what life is like without me if i haven't found exactly the right question i'd ask god if there's anything more than first and worst impressions and is there anything more to hold on to than feeling every sense and every second haunt you we were brothers in christ now we're sisters in sin can't stand these hollow bodies we're born into fuck you, fuck me, fuck everyone listening to this song if there's one seat left in hell, i'll know where i belong
32.
i was alone last night and felt a little intoxicated kim petras in the background is a set up to regret tried to speak in honesty but honesty is fucking faded she interrupted every sentence i tried to express alcohol eats at the calcium to reveal the nacre mute the mic, sober up, build your wall and conceal with fakeness we can wait, we can wait a lil longer we can stay we can stay we can stay we can stay until we're stronger why does this always seem to happen the narcissist in me jumps out and wants to talk to the manager she takes my heart, looks at it, and breaks it in two and i would die for her if its a thing i could just do alcohol eats at the calcium to reveal the nacre mute the mic, sober up, build your wall and conceal with fakeness we can wait, we can wait a lil longer we can stay we can stay we can stay we can stay until we're stronger one day it'll be our last day alive i'm going down with this shell aren't i

about

A Chiptune/Chip-adjacent/Emo/Math Compilation!

All proceeds from the compilation will now go to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Research through the charity at thevedsmovement.org

Please learn more about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome here, www.ehlers-danlos.com/what-is-eds/.

Thank You for Choosing to RESTORE!

Dedication for Karsten Doss:
This album is dedicated to Karsten Doss for being an amazing friend and inspiration to me (Kyle). Watching Karsten overcome the trials he's had to face and still relentlessly pursue every creative avenue he has is extremely inspiring. I try to follow my passions with that same conviction. I thank him for everything he's done and for allowing me to take part in his story. Love you Kardi!

Special Thanks to all musicians and artists involved with this album!
As well as everyone who have continually supported our compilation series!
As well as special thanks to Casey VanAntwerp (cloudform) for mastering!

credits

released December 4, 2020

Mastered by Casey VanAntwerp (cloudform)
Organized by Tony Johnson (Monotony), Kyle Wilson (NintenKwonDo), vera (vera,etc.), and benji sayed (diebenjidie)
Sequenced by vera and benji
Album Art by Sydney McQuern, edited by Kyle Wilson

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CONTINUE New York, New York

A compilation series dedicated to serving communities and charities while connecting Chiptunes and Chip-adjacent artists

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